Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up
"Happy? I guess you could say I'm happy. Sure, I may be a macrocephalic midget with fetal alcohol syndrome who smokes eight packs a day, but happiness is where you find it. You gotta take pleasures from the simple things in life. Like the lowing of cattle at night, or the death rattle of a Mexican."
Think of the stories Happy has to tell! (In your own voice, of course). Like the time on the trail when he had to disembowel his own horse with a jacknife because she threw a shoe and broke her leg. How during the war when he and Nathan Bedford Forrest served in the same unit. That time he shot a Comanche in Yuma for cutting in line at Del Taco.
Yep, good times. Happy's seen it all.
(You know he's tough. How many five year olds do you know have the balls to smoke a spliff that big in public?)