Hey, Mr. Retail Drone, when I walk into your store looking to buy something, maybe you want to reconsider telling me that the item I'm looking for hasn't been released yet when a) your company's web site lists it as going on sale today; b) there's a big poster in your front window that says it's going on sale today; and c) the big board of new releases right behind you says it's going on sale today. Especially when the Retail Drones at another store are able to explain why they don't have any copies without lying to my face (i.e., that all shipments of said item to our area have been delayed because of the terrible weather).
Twice a year I get an unexpected pick-me-up in the form of the ULINE catalog. I don't just read it, I devour it in the same way a spinster devours an issue of Modern Bride. Each page is filled with bizarre items that suggest all sorts of equally bizarre projects. I mean, what couldn't I do with a couple hundred cardboard CD mailers? Or a carton of 500 6 mil gusseted polyurethane bags (28 x 24 x 60)? Or a roll of DOT class 4 hazard label stickers?
Deep in my heart, I know I'm never going to purchase a metric ton of green, anti-static packing peanuts. But it's comforting to know that when the moment comes, I'll know exactly where to get them.
Every now and then I'll detect something at the periphery of my senses, and rather than let it slide my brain tries to fill in the gaps and gets it spectacularly wrong. Usually this is a small source of amusement for me, especially when the "Trolley Stop" restaurant becomes the "Trollop Stop," or I mis-hear the lyrics to "Gimme Shelter" as "It's just Piscataway."
The other day I was in Borders, walking by a display of their Easter-theamed stuff. And for some reason, the copy of the NKJV Bible1 they had on display got turned into the "NKVD Bible."
The mistake didn't disturb me. I was disturbed by the fact that I would seriously consider buying a copy of a book called "The NKVD Bible."
ninjorilla: Is it wrong that when I saw the headline "Governor involved with prostitution ring," the first thing I thought of was Elliot Spitzer in Drag, walking the streets?
astralagos: I'd be disappointed in you if it wasn't the first thing you thought of.
- Remember, all other versions are per-versions.