Bling It On

Thing Bling, Do Your Thing!

If you've been watching TV recently, odds are you've seen ads for...


I realize that "bling" has been in decline for years. The first clue was that I knew what it meant — and I'm whiter than an overexposed photo of an albino polar bear in a snowstorm. Quite clearly, black people had stopped seriously using the word long before I was even aware of its existence. Now bling has moved down the demographic desirability chart from 18-40 year old white guys to 6-8 year old white girls. In other words, it's dead.

If bling wasn't killed by its new target demographic, it was almost definitely killed by everymom's statemes: "Even I like to bling!" and "A little bling makes my laptop sing!" Because, you know, there's nothing kids like more than sharing their fads with their parents. Or decorating their hip, trendy laptops.

It's time to lay bling to rest in the Oxford American English Dictionary, somewhere between "blindworm" and "blink." Rest in peace, bling — and when you get to heaven, say hi to "mack" and "pimpin'" for me.

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