Retreat?...Hell!

The Peneatrator #14: Mankill Sport

This is without a doubt one of the funniest covers I've ever seen on a men's adventure novel. It's got a naked girl, a guy with a gun, and a naked guy with a porn star moustache with a strategically-placed bear covering his crotch. So of course, none of this actually appears in the book at all.

I also appreciate the Penetrator's lack of subtlety. It's not just enough to have a suggestive code name — he's got a suggestive real name, too! Plus, his logo is tilted at a jauntily erect angle, and topped by a big, throbbing red arrowhead...

Mark began going through the file with the professor, and two hours later, Red Eagle came back with dinner trays. The professor had a poached egg, a small tossed salad and a cup of weak tea.
Mark looked at his tray and knew it was action time. The main dish was a two-pound, inch-thick venison steak, lightly seared to trap the juices. On the tray sat a quart of raw milk and three inch-wide slices of whole-grain bread. Red Eagle had baked it himself. Mark settled down to eat and the professor turned on the TV set to listen to the news.
"I do wish Red Eagle would kill that venison before he serves it," the professor said. "The site of that much blood spoils my appetite." (p. 35-36)

I'm no nutritionist, but that meal seems a bit excessive to me. In one course, the Penetrator has managed to meet his USRDA of calories and quadruple his USRDA for protein. The whole wheat bread's a nice touch, but two pounds of rare game and a whole quart of unpasteurized milk? He's just begging to contract a food-borne illness. In addition, he's just consumed 700 Mg of cholesterol, 70 g fat, and 900 Mg of sodium.

You'd think Red Eagle would have provided a vegetable or two while he was at it. It's not like the Mafia will think less of the Penetrator if they find a few kernels of corn in his stool.

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